Showing, one job listing at a time, how toxic a JD is on the job market. Please don't go to law school.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Assistant Who Does Everything

[Ed.-- But wait, if you can do anything with a law degree, then isn't 'assistant who does everything' the perfect job for you?]

http://boston.craigslist.org/nwb/lgl/4797769693.html

Managing Attorney of busy Winchester law firm seeks go-to legal assistant to do everything necessary to increase productivity, improve client communication, enhance client service, and help attract new referrals. Experience in a law firm or other professional practice helpful but not strictly necessary if you have prior confidential executive assistant experience. Experience in hospitality, restaurant or customer service industries is helpful. Duties including managing one attorney's entire life from calendar, client meetings, travel, personal needs, document creation to coordination of all other services within a fast paced law firm focused on elder law, probate, real estate and estate planning. This job will be challenging, but not boring. Compensation from high 40's with opportunities for advancement and bonuses. Limited evening and weekend obligation as needed. Competitive benefit plan including 401k after one year, generous vacation allowance, etc. Work hard and get rewarded for it! NO ATTORNEYS OR LAW STUDENTS WILL BE CONSIDERED, please DO NOT reply.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

IP LITIGATION PARALEGAL

[Ed.-- I truly don't understand the trend of job ads in all caps.  It's a law office.  They surely don't write the rest of their correspondence this way.  So why a job ad?  Note, as is often the case, that having a four year degree is optional, but not having a JD is mandatory.]

INTERNATIONAL LAW FIRM SEEKS HIGHLY QUALIFIED LITIGATION PARALEGAL WITH INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY LITIGATION EXPERIENCE. PREFERENCE WOULD BE FOR PATENT LITIGATION EXPERIENCE.CANDIDATE MUST HAVE FULL KNOWLEDGE OF ENTIRE LITIGATION PROCESS FROM DISCOVERY TO TRIAL. STRONG SKILLS IN LITIGATION SUPPORT DATABASES SUCH AS CONCORDANCE OR SUMMATION.PREFERENCE FORLARGE FIRM EXPERIENCE, CITE CHECKING AND/OR BLUE BOOKING SKILLS, ABILITY TO DO RESEARCH IN LEXIS-NEXIS AND WESTLAW.MUST HAVE SOLID WORK HISTORY WITH AT LEAST 4 YEARS RELATED EXPERIENCE FROM COMPARABLE LAW FIRM. 4 YEAR DEGREE IS PREFERRED.COMPETITIVE SALARY FOR QUALIFIED CANDIDATE. FOR IMMEDIATE CONSIDERATION PLEASE SEND RESUME IN WORD WITH SALARY EXPECTATIONS. NO JD'S PLEASE.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Professional Legal Administrative Assistant

[Ed.-- "Degree preferred but nobody with a law degree" is a fascinating sub genre.  Your law degree is so toxic that it's negative value may be greater than the positive value of your college degree.  But hey, at least you know all about the hairy hand, right?]

https://jobs.washingtonpost.com/job/35729921/professional-legal-administrative-assistant/?rx_job=31724649&rx_source=simplyhired&rx_campaign=simplyhired15&wpsrc=MK0000004&wpmk=MK0000004&rx_medium=cpc


Energetic Legal Assistant sought for busy partner paring.  Must have 3 years litigation experience and knowledge of Virginia courts.   If you are looking for a firm where you can grow, take on additional responsibility and thrive, look no further than this gem of a firm that is right across the street from the Metro.   Degree preferred.  
Job Requirements
Here are the must haves:
  • 3 years legal administrative assistant experience
  • Litigation experience
  • Virginia State Court knowledge
  • Strong MS Office Skills
  • Strong organizational skills and ability to multitask
Additional Information
Please no JD's

Friday, December 5, 2014

Litigation Secretary/Assistant (Huntington Beach)

[Ed.-- Back after a holiday break!  Let's see if employers still hate law degrees, shall we?]

http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/lgl/4770263722.html

Small litigation firm in OC looking for Litigation Secretary/Assistant. Applicant should be well-versed in calendaring rules for Orange and Los Angeles Counties and be able to calendar manually as well as with computerized docketing systems. Applicant must be experienced in filing pleadings in federal and state court, preparing trial binders, and must be proficient (not just familiar) with WordPerfect as well as Microsoft Word. Applicant must have at least 3-5 years of experience. Please send resume and salary requirements via fax to (714) 288-9520 or by email. No phone calls please. No JD's please.

Duties will include:
• Filing documents with Court
• Contacting clients, opposing counsel, etc. by mail, email or phone
• Indexing documents
• Calendaring
• Filing
• Binders for appearances
• Research
• Second line for answering phones, take messages, direct incoming calls to appropriate staff
• Respond to client questions and/or paperwork as needed